Thotful Spot

the cloud of witnesses
opens its arms wide
to the presence of Jane.
Jane runs to them at last
resting in their tender
compassion.
knowing the celebration
is just beginning as
the guest of honor has
arrived.
she feels the hospitality of
joy, frankincense, and the
heartbeat of the cosmos
stirring as all raise a glass
of living water.
     Salud!

© 2009, T. Stewart

a pensive moment
stirred up by thoughts
of you drifting by on
a cloudy day

a flash of your
laugh as you ate
strawberry shortcake
celebrating life

your lips pursed as
you plucked at them
while confronting
challenge freely

your arms and legs
as they whittled
away to nothing
fighting a losing battle

all of this is caught
in a circle of light
the tilt of my daughter’s head
with curls so like yours

the battle won
in the grace of a new
creation that
echoes of you

© 2009, T. Stewart

i see you sitting there
i know that you do not
love your waist, your arms,
your legs, your body,
but how can that be
separate?
your body contains
who you are
a woman of God
a mother of two
a wife of one
a compassionate voice
in the world.
embrace the embodiment
of you for without
you the world would
be incomplete.

Shalom.

empty and full
lost and present
tenuous and tight
despair and hope
sadness and joy
anger and love

how can i possibly let go
let the reality of your absence
exist simultaneously with
the memory of your presence?
the memory wars with
the longing to capture a
non-existent conversation
counseling on the wisdom
of raising children or of entering
a woman’s life of another phase.
when all i want to do is
yell, “where are you?”

sometimes it seems that
my thoughts of you are
as flighty as remembrances
of a fairy floating by.
questioning the reality of
the situation and wondering
who you really were.
a fairy princess viewed through
a child’s eyes or a woman of
depth, a mother, a wife, an
employee, a lover.  but you are
forever immortalized as a fairy
who flits in and out of
our lives as memories surface
and abate as the reality of you
becomes more distant with time.

be one with the universe,
be one with god. 
be one with love and joy. 
be one with my heart and with the
hearts of those you loved and
who loved you. 

live on fairy queen.

OK…usually I put papers, sermons, and poetry up.  Very little just plain talking.  But this, I had to simply share.  We have had record heat today in Seattle (the sublime).  The temperature has ranged in the area from 102 to 110 depending exactly where you are in the Pac NW.  While driving to pick up teriyaki from Apple Teriyaki in Redmond (they are FABULOUS! and no way am I cooking in the heat!)…I heard an announcement on National Public Radio (NPR) stating that we were under a flash flood watch.  It was complete with the beeps and all the weird sounds that emergency weather conditions come with.  Well, I thought, “I have lost my mind!”  Either the radio folks were nuts or I was audio-hallucinating!  But look at what I got in email today:

Is this ridiculous or what?

Love & Shalom,

Terri

Ladybug’s Tabernacle

Welcome to the tabernacle of the ladybug!
Join us in our opening hymn, The Glory of the Tree.

Glory, Glory, Glory to the highest.
Glory, Glory, Glory to the tree.

Gracious Tree of Life,

You precede our needs with a path laid in wisdom.
The crooked cracks of your bark lead us to sustenance.
Grant us the wisdom to walk the labyrinth of crevices.
Relying on you to provide the guidance we need.
To arrive at the life-giving source.

In the name of the Tree, the Leaf, and the Aphid,

Amen.

© 2009, Terri Stewart

Inspired by photography of Christine Valters Paintner of Abbey of the Arts.

I met Perpetua today.
Ready to die, to sacrifice all.
For the sake of a child.

Her child clinging.
Unaware of the rising trauma.
Taken away to a forsaken father.

“Renounce Christianity and you will be saved!
Your child returned to you.
Your home restored to wholeness.”

Perpetua does not flinch.
She steps forward.
Recanting the family.

Soldiers rise on their toes.
Readying for battle.
A jumping of the broomstick.

Divorcing the family that once enslaved.
She calmly faces each one.
Taking punishment for freedom.

© 2009, Terri Stewart

This is written to honor the courage and strength of a young woman who is being jumped-out of a gang.  She is doing it for her child and for God.  Perpetua was an early Christian martyr who, while imprisoned, kept her child with her for a time.  She was imprisoned for the sake of the Christ-child.  This young woman is being jumped-out for the sake of her child. 

Gangs and the fear they create are a scourge in America and it breaks my heart.  If we could fully fund education and health-care, these kids, who join gangs by the age of 7 or 8, might have a shot at turning life around.  In the long run, it is much cheaper to educate someone than it is to imprison them. 

God of all, your love never ends.
When all else fails, you still are God.
We pray to you for one another in our need,
  and for all, anywhere, who mourn with us this day.
To those who doubt, give light;
  to those who are weak, strength;
  to all who sorrow, your peace.
Keep true in us
  the love with which we hold one another.
In all our ways we trust you.
And to you,
  with your church on earth and in heaven,
  we offer honor and glory, now and forever.
Amen.

O God, all that you have given us is yours.
As first you gave Sarah to us,
  so now we give Sarah back to you.
Receive Sarah into the arms of your mercy.
Raise Sarah up with all of your creation.
Receive us also, and raise us into a new life.
Help us so to love and serve you in this world.

Into your hands, O merciful Savior,
  we commend your servant Sarah.
Receive Sarah into the arms of your mercy,
  into the blessed rest of everlasting peace,
  and into the glorious company of the saints of light.
Amen.

 Adapted from the United Methodist Hymnal

Sermon
Ephesians 2:11-22
7/19/2009

This portion of the letter to the Ephesians is concerned with unity in Christ. So, to create a little unity in this room, I am going to steal Bishop Hagiya’s opening joke from annual conference which I think is super appropriate for me since I’m going to a Catholic University…

You know how moms are. They sit around and talk about their kids every now and then. Well, four Catholic women were having coffee. The first woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him Father." The second woman chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'." The third woman says "My son is a cardinal. And whenever he walks into room, he's called 'Your Eminence!". The fourth woman sips her coffee in silence. Finally, the first three women give her a subtle look as if to say, "Well...?" So the fourth woman says.... "My son is 6'2". He has broad, square shoulders, is terribly handsome and dresses very well. And whenever he walks into a room, women say 'Oh, my God...'."

That has very little to do with my sermon, but it is funny so I wanted to share it! Laughter does have a way of uniting people together unlike many of our social practices. In the world, we build walls and fences everywhere. Keeping people out or keeping people in. Even when we travel to deep space and view the world, where we should only be able to see what God has made, we can still see the Great Wall of China. Another border created to make an “us” and a “them.”

Should we be surprised that we can see the interference of man from space? Interference intended to divide and separate? Sadly, I am not very surprised. Robert Frost put it succinctly when he said sardonically in his poem Mending Fences[1], “good fences make good neighbors.” Humanity is expert at dividing people along racial, social, and economic lines. Even when all this is equal, we divide into athletes, stay-at-home parents, career women and men, geeks, and more. We can think of an infinite variety of ways to divide, classify, and exclude! Even our institutions contribute to dividing us. And our church, unfortunately, has often led the way. In the name of Christianity, we have endorsed slavery, forced conversions during the Spanish Inquisition, forced Jews to live in ghettos, and more. Even after slavery ended, the United Methodist Church had a special conference for African Americans. And just this year we are voting to give the “Central Conference,” which is the entire rest of the world, its own voice and ability to steer its own future...finally. Even at a local church level we can divide. We have music people and word people, traditional vs. contemporary, old-timers vs. newbies.

There are stories, though, that run counter to this human weakness. Where the church has torn down walls rather than built them.

Two examples immediately come to mind. One is the work the Methodist General Board of Church and Society is doing. Through their actions, the church is standing against economic, racial, and social unfairness. One area of recent action has been the work to equalize sentencing for crack and powder cocaine. Apparently, white folks tend to use the more expensive powder cocaine while African Americans use the cheaper crack cocaine. By equalizing the sentencing, it will begin to equalize sentencing disparities between whites and African Americans. For some people, the sentencing will increase, but racial equity will be one step closer.

The second example is something that Bear Creek has been involved with nearly from the beginning. That is Tent City IV. Tent City IV was established at St. Brendan’s in Bothell. When it came time to move to a new location, the first organizational meeting for hosting Tent City IV in Woodinville was right here in this sanctuary. Faith communities from the Cottage Lake Cluster of churches gathered together. Deb Eichstadt from the Unitarian Universalist Association up the road came in with a general game plan and got us going. Lutheran, Universalist, Methodist, United Church of Christ, and more. We were all involved together as an ecumenical group to bring Tent City IV to Woodinville and to care for the people, God’s beloved children, that would be housed there. We are still involved in providing services to Tent City. If you are interested in helping provide food or other goods, please contact the Mission Committee or Chris Aakre.

Today, the seed group that supported Tent City IV when they were at St. Brendan’s has evolved into a group called Eastside Cares which consists of 30 different denominations and over 900 volunteers. That is what the expansive, unifying love of Christ can do. Christ can tear down some walls!

There are some walls that are good—ethical and moral walls that constrain us from behaving badly. These walls should stay, but the ones that we keep erecting that God has already knocked down need to go! God is in the uniting business, not the dividing business! When Jesus said to feed the hungry--that was one wall knocked down. When Jesus said to give the thirsty something to drink, that was one more wall knocked down. When Jesus said to care for the stranger, clothe the needy, care for the sick, and to visit the imprisoned. Bam! Walls were being exploded!

I imagine that the walls stayed down for about 5 minutes before some of us, in our humanity, started stacking the bricks back up. In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul is addressing problems that many church communities were having. A big problem then was the integration of Jewish followers of Jesus and Gentile followers. How do you live as a community that embraces both groups—Jew and Gentile? Jews, even though followers of The Way of Christ, still adhered to the mitzvot or law system[2]. Committed Jews who also followed the way of Christ were committed to following the law and Jesus.

Paul uses Jesus as the covenant maker in a way that Jew and Gentile would have understood. People during this time had a traditional way of symbolizing new covenants or peace treaties. Two parties that had been in serious conflict would celebrate a new covenant by killing an animal. They would have the animal cut into two pieces, and the two parties would walk between the two pieces to signify the terms of the agreement. Along with stating the terms of the peace came a statement calling the blood of the animal as a witness that the same result should happen to either party that would break the terms of the peace. Paul invokes Jesus as the terms of the agreement between Jew and Gentile. The language he uses, while unfamiliar to us, would have been very easily understood by that culture. Jesus is the peacemaker, the unifier.

Unfortunately, the peace Paul was calling for in these early church communities still needs to be reestablished and reinvented. We are not at peace. We have built more walls than I can imagine. Paul gives us very straightforward instructions to tackle disunity later in Ephesians 4. Paul pleads with the community to “Treat one another charitably, in complete selflessness, gentleness, and patience. Do all you can to preserve the unity of the Spirit through the peace that binds you together. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called into one hope when you were called. There is one Savior, one faith, one baptism, one God and Creator of all, who is over all, who works through all and is within all.” Simple instructions! We could boil the instructions down to:

1. Be completely gentle and humble

2. Walk with each other in love

3. Find out what role you are to play in the body of Christ

Or even simple, “love God, love your neighbor.”

Who thinks these are easy tasks?

I also think we get confused as to what unity means. In the case of Tent City IV, it did not mean that we all had to sign a faith statement that would force each of us onto the same doctrinal task. It meant that we provided housing for the stranger. Which comes first, doctrine or love? Is the creed more important than the action? I don’t think so. I think that God laughs each time we try to write a statement of who precisely God is.

So what is unity? The definition I like is “a whole or totality as combining all its parts into one.”[3] Combining all its parts into one. That seems kind of like the body of Christ. We are each a part of Christ’s body combining into one. Somehow we get wrapped up in our individual roles rather than focusing on the unity of the body. If we envision Bear Creek UMC as the hand, suddenly our hand grows disproportionately to the rest of the body and our hand is giant, in our minds. Or maybe another church up the street would say that their foot is the most important part because without feet, where would the support be? We all fall victim to having our own point-of-view. It is natural but that does not mean that we can’t fight against it.

Paul’s instructions are helpful, but not very specific. Gentleness and humbleness are the skills needed to live in the unity that Christ has called his community to. Here, Paul is chastising the Ephesians because of a failure of unity among God's people that is a refusal to be a part of the mission that God is doing in the world. Let me say that again. The people of God are participating in a failure of unity that amounts to a refusal to be a part of the mission that God is doing in the world. When the Ephesians start pointing fingers at each other, they are no longer focused on the details of bringing the kingdom to life, but on the details that turn their heads and hearts away from the mission of God. What discipling can happen when the family is arguing?

It does not take a lot of imagination to see how this letter to the Ephesians is still relevant to us today.

A few nights ago, Robert and I were having a “deep theological discussion” about the role free will plays vs. the role of the all-powerful God. I know, sounds like fun at the Stewart household, right? Anyway, we did not agree on the minutiae of how we perceive God’s plan to work in our reality. Robert finished with a statement along the lines of “I am so grateful that we have a God that lets us hold on to the beliefs that we need to have.” I am convinced of the truth of that statement! I think it is an interpretation of the story in Acts where suddenly, everybody understands what the disciples are saying. We have each been gifted with our own love languages that we use to understand and communicate with God. It is never my way or Robert’s way, but a creative third way that we have failed to imagine. But God never fails to imagine. The unity of Christ’s body is more inclusive than my way or Robert’s way.

John Wesley said, “I want the whole Christ for my Savior, the whole Bible for my book, the whole Church for my fellowship, and the whole world for my mission field.” The whole. That means the parts that we find easy to embrace and the parts that we find challenging. Unfortunately, that is the truth of Christ. Love what you don’t like. The challenge for us is how do we carry this lesson into today? Christian unity is much easier to say than to do.

What can you do today, this hour, to further the church’s unity? I think a good start would be to invite someone here to lunch or to coffee. Reach across the pew and find someone new to talk to. Or next time you come in, sit in a totally different spot—that will start a revolution! Those are small things that will impact people right away.

What we do matters. If we listen with love rather than jump to conclusions, it matters. If we can train our first reaction to be one of love and grace rather than superiority and irritation, we will be able to create a more unified church. Remember, unity is not holding on to the same truth, but unity is allowing God’s different love languages to speak. By allowing the love languages to speak, the realization of God’s kingdom on earth and of Christ’s mission will be one step closer.

And so I leave you with a few questions: What is God saying to you today? What love language are you hearing? What love languages do you see in others? And lastly, can you find a role in reconciling and honoring these languages to further the mission of God?

Shalom and Amen.

[1] http://www.writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/88/frost-mending.html

[2] As an aside, did you know there are 613 commandments in the Hebrew scriptures?

[3] http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/unity

Photos inspired by Christine Valters Paintner's Photo Party challenge and her accompanying poem:

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ears listen, eyes look,
hearing, seeing below ground
to the sacred source

-Christine Valters Paintner

yearning to be one
with the voice that pulls deeply-
love’s undercurrent

-Terri Stewart

The annual reunion of cookie women
  takes place while preparations
  for the infant’s arrival simmer
  furiously and peak to a boil.

Readying for the event brings
  a diversity of ingredients
  mixed in love with a chrism
  that holds the body together.

The hands of friends working
  together as the cookie is
  created for exchange, honor, and love
  and the perfect gingerbread woman.

Joining together on the walk
  through the gates the friends
  find themselves enthralled
  with the preparations of gold and silver.

Entering the mansion that
  smells of cookies and cider,
  chocolate, vanilla, and cinnamon,
  incense created for the gathered body.

Listening to the music that fills
  the quiet spaces with Joy and Angels
  while the lilting conversations carried
  by Martha and Mary pass peace.

Exchanging gifts with each other,
  offering a new creation to all
  with a promise to take
  the full plate home to loved ones.

Setting aside the plates while
  reaching for a precious teacup, that is
  filled with the perfume of cider and wine
  comingled with mystery.

A liturgy created by the cookie women
  to prepare for a new covenant
  and to celebrate the beginning
  of a new relationship.

(c) 2009
Terri Stewart

the air crackles with the
energy of a storm to come
as preparations are made
for a calling of vigor
entering places and
crossing borders

tongues of flame dance
as spirit is renewed and
replenished once again
after heart-breaking
work in the desolation
of the desert

the rhythm of the sea
flows in and flows out
washing away the dusty
remnants of that past trek
revealing jewels
carved in stone and shell

new creations birthed
in the spectacle of the cosmos
diversity of shape and color
love and desire
with the texture and smell
of the ground of all being

© 2009
Terri Stewart

Photo by Christine Valters Paintner of Abbey of the Arts

pink hair, ponytails
outrageous make-up
silicone breasts popping
the buttons of a polyester shirt
rainbow scarf waving in the air
a neon-green mini-skirt
revealing muscled legs
in tattered fishnets
with size 11 feet
in 6 inch heels
made in the image of God

brown hair, styled
like Clark Gable
lightly speckled face
from a long-ago shave
baggy Fitch shirt over a
naturally expanding chest
faded jeans worn at the hips
and a rainbow belt
with size 7 feet
in brown loafers
beloved child of God

the bread of life
given for you
to live a life as you were
made and created
loving as you were made to love
the cup of a new covenant
given for you
to create a space
to meet the one
who loves you
communion with God

June 29, 2009
Terri Stewart
after participating in open communion at PrideFest, Seattle

Gracious God,

Everyone fed is bigger than us. It is the Kingdom realized on earth when you fed the 5,000 with meager supplies.

Take this gift, multiply it and transform it so that we can say that everyone has been fed today.

Through Jesus Christ, the bread of life,

Amen.

Inspired by Christine Valters Paintner at Abbey of the Arts

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The light warms the soul
Brilliantly showing the way
Beyond the darkness.

©2009 Terri Stewart

Gracious God,
  You have called me to this study of relationship with You.
  To teach me to worship and serve You in this world.
  You have given me the call to minister to Your church.
  As I prepare to learn more about communicating with You
    for You,
    and through You,
  Open my heart, eyes, and spirit to new words,
    new thoughts,
    and new ways of being.
  Enable me to set aside my thoughts and
    to embrace your thoughts.
  Set aside my goals and
    to embrace your goals.
  In Word brought to life,
    Amen.

For my final integration in MTI, I wrote Haiku’s for everybody in class.  Here they are!

© 2009 Terri Stewart

I believe in this
The world is a dire place
I don’t believe
God’s creatures roaming
Untamed
Is the solution
The Lord our God
Is feeble and weak
Our life
Another discarded failure
The devil
The Lord of
Betrayal
Leading us all astray is
Its path
I am a young Christian, and this is not what I think.

Its path
Leading us all astray is
Betrayal
The Lord of
The devil
Another discarded failure
Our life
Is feeble and weak
The Lord our God
Is the solution
Untamed
God’s creatures roaming
I don’t believe
The world is a dire place
I believe in this.

Caitlyn S.
For Confirmation on May 31, 2009

the wall extends into the misty mountains
where signal-keepers watch warily
as the madoffs steadily advance
ready for a frontal assault
stealing the liminal and marketing it
seduction causes a wall to crumble
as the sweet music of comfort calls
singing a hymn of joy to the world
the guardian rushes to defend
the child tempted by the sparkle
and luminosity of the siren song
roaring with anger
striking at tables topped with filth
the guardian casts a sacred net
stopping the advance
for today

Poem: ©Terri Stewart
Photo credit: ©Christine Valters Paintner, www.AbbeyoftheArts.com

   Verse 1

The mystery of God floats through the cool air.
Approaching my heart with timeless despair.
With courage and fear I look to the sky.
I follow you up the ladder to die.

Verse 2

In places away from the city I roam
I go to stay and give my heart home
The passions I fight are not alone
the virtues of Love found in the heart’s home

Verse 3

The earth and the sky speak of my true heart
My wrapping does hang wherever thou art
A journey to God is now my life’s goal
to see you and feel you within my soul.

Verse 4

To be in the world is my truest call
But faith is alone, the great gift from God
A justified faith without the good works
Is lost in confusion drowning out mirth.

Verse 5

Love calls us to God when we can sit still
to ponder a vision until we are filled
or to set us free from earthly constraints
forgetting the world and all its restraints.

Verse 6

Once betrothed to God, the ring of faith
does deepen its tie with the soul’s fair maid
a marriage with the bridegroom grows
as freedom and trust in God’s repose

Image:  Desert Mothers found here

Composed by:  Terri Stewart, March 9, 2009
All right reserved

My challenge to you:  match the references with the verse!  Please note that some of these folks have very similar theologies and their references may overlap.

References: 
Augustine
Beguines
The Cloud of Unknowing Author
St. Brendan
St. Brigid
Desert Mothers and Fathers
Evagrius
Felicity
Julian of Norwich
Luther
Mendicants
Pelagius
Perpetua
Teresa of Avila
Wesley

Eli Eli lama sabachthani?

where were you
when the embryo
hatched and was formed
by blood-spattered hyenas
tearing hope from
limb to limb and
laughing gleefully
at the mockery

where were you
when the embryo
fell and love
offered a hit
of a crack pipe
covered in symbols
flashing through
the ghetto offering
escape from the
desolate heat

the hands that
should be reaching
out are cut off at
the wrists bleeding
sanctimonious tripe
in defiance of the call
to love the
least , lost, and lonely
while sentencing each
embryo to death

guilty rings through
the room as we
continue to bleed the
embryo out with
ignorance born of
fear and shame and
the lie of the only way
being my way standing
on the corner shouting
belligerently to
repent or die

revelation rings through
the cosmos as the
embryo marches the
guilty to sheol while
silent tears are birthed
wresting the stumbling
breath of hope into a
silent scream reaching
to the ramparts and
calling forth the final
battle fought with
easter lilies